Emotionally Focused Family Therapy
Does it feel difficult to navigate relationships with family?
Are you feeling stuck in your relationship with your parents or children?
Do you need help strengthening your relationship with your family members?
Do you feel unheard or misunderstood by your family?
Are you wanting to resolve past conflicts or wounds to have a better relationship with one another?
Are you having a hard time agreeing with your partner on parenting strategies?
Is your family struggling to adjust to recent life changes?
Are you noticing behavioral changes in your children and are unsure of how to help?
If any of these questions resonate with you, our therapists at CTC can help you explore the difficulties you’re facing and aid in communication with your family members. Whether you are looking for support in improving your relationship with your child or you’re an adult hoping to work through some issues with your parents or siblings, we can support you in moving through these challenges.
At CTC, we believe that each family is unique, and also that as humans we have a universal need for closeness and connection with others. Our families are generally the first place we experience that desire for support and connection. We help you create and foster safe and supportive relationships with your family, whether biological or chosen.
What is Emotionally-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT)?
Emotionally-Focused Family Therapy is an evidence-based relational therapy rooted in attachment theory and a family systems orientation. It starts from the assumption that we are wired to crave relationships where we can rely on and trust one another. This wiring is clearly evident when looking at infants and their connection to their caregivers - they rely on their caregivers to soothe them and be a safe base when they are upset. From this relationship, the infant or young child develops a blueprint for how they see the world (as basically predictable and safe). The more an infant or young child knows they can depend on their caregiver, the more they develop their own capacity for self-regulation, and the belief that they can explore their world independently.
As we age, our need for safe and secure attachment shifts, but does not go away. Often this attachment shifts more towards romantic partners, or important friendships. However, children and adolescents still need to know that their caregivers are responsive and accessible when they need them. This safe base serves as the foundation and launching point for building other healthy relationships.
Our family relationships serve as a framework for how we show up in other relationships in life. We learn how to handle emotions and view ourselves based on our primary caregivers’ view of us and of emotions. For example, if a mother becomes defensive when her child approaches her about difficult feelings they are having, the child might not continue to ask mom for help with their emotions. If the pattern persists, the child might learn to avoid talking about their emotions altogether and struggle in intimate relationships. Alternatively, if a child knows they can turn to their caregiver for emotional support, they can develop greater self-esteem and resilience to life's challenges.
Negative Patterns Drive Family Disconnection
When working with families, at CTC we begin with an assumption that everyone in a family is doing the best they can with the tools and resources they have right now. We also know that often even with the best intentions, families can get wires crossed, and end up perpetuating negative patterns of interaction that increase conflict and distress.
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy is designed to help identify these negative patterns, gently explore the underlying emotions and longings fueling the negative cycle, and help families communicate more vulnerably and authentically. The understanding of EFFT is that we are in conflict not because of problems with communication or parenting failures, but because of a desire for connection and support that is not being clearly expressed or understood. Our need for connection and comfort from our family is innate and imperative to the quality of our emotional health.
What to Expect in Family Therapy
In an EFFT session, you can expect to work towards getting a better understanding of your own actions and the emotions that drive them, as well as a better understanding of your family member’s actions and emotions. We might focus on a difficult topic to understand how and where emotions get set off and then work towards improving these interactions. It may feel like we are slowing things down and putting your relationship under a microscope - this is so we can deepen the understanding of everybody’s emotional experience and create empathy around negative patterns that have formed. We often focus on the present moment and how it feels to talk about these deeper emotions once they are expressed. In doing so, we are helping to create new patterns of emotional connection that may feel difficult outside of the therapeutic space. Eventually, you and your family members will be able to slow down and create these new, healthy patterns of interaction on your own.
Evidence-Based Family Therapy
Although EFT was originally designed for couples, researchers have found a similar process can be utilized with families to help facilitate changes to their stuck patterns. Emotionally-Focused Family Therapy has previously been effective in treating children and adolescents with anxiety disorders, ADHD, anger and mood difficulties, depression, eating disorders, substance use, and general emotional, social, and relationship difficulties. The goal of EFFT is to address concerns about symptoms or distress by creating more emotional support and connection in the family. Research shows that symptoms of mental illness typically manifest when an individual feels isolated and is unable to find support from those they crave close relationships with. A safe and secure connection with loved ones has been found to be associated with both positive mental health and wellbeing outcomes such as high self-esteem, confidence, resilience, the ability to regulate emotions, etc. These outcomes lead to healthier relationships with ourselves and others.
Highly Trained Family Therapists
At Colorado Therapy Collective, we pride ourselves in our training in Emotionally-Focused therapies (individual, couples, and family). Our therapists participate in ongoing training to continue their learning and professional development. When it comes to relationships and connection, our therapists are experts and have over 10 years of experience under the supervision and guidance of our owner, Nancy Brittain. Nancy has worked with families since 2010 in residential, intensive outpatient, and private practice settings, including creating the family program for a Denver substance abuse treatment program. We have a track record of providing effective, evidence-based services and helping clients break free from emotional patterns that no longer serve them.
Does Emotionally Focused Family Therapy work for all ages?
While there are excellent EFFT therapists who work with younger children and their families, at CTC we work with clients thirteen years of age and older. Whether you’re an adult looking to improve your relationship with your parents, a parent looking to help support your teen or young adult, or a person wanting to improve your relationship with a sibling, EFFT is tailored to focus on your own needs and experiences. Our therapists will help guide you and your family members through talking about topics that may be difficult to approach outside of the therapeutic space and explore emotions that come up for you along the way.
Can EFFT be tailored to adult families?
Absolutely! In adult families there can be pain from the past that prevents open communication about certain topics with parents or children. Many times unresolved conflict or tension from childhood can result in distant relationships with family as an adult. These unresolved feelings can come out in more surface-level present day topics. In EFFT, we will help to address potential unresolved feelings that contribute to the way that you interact with your family members. EFFT can also facilitate improvements in sibling relationships through a similar process of identifying where there is a disconnect in the relationship and taking a closer look at actions and emotions that perpetuate this distance.
Start strengthening your family today
Starting to rebuild family relationships can feel like an intimidating process, but it doesn’t have to be with a knowledgeable and compassionate guide. To learn more about our services and who in the practice might be a good fit for you, we offer a complimentary 20-minute consultation to make the process of starting services easier. To schedule your complimentary consultation or initial session with one of our therapists, please click here. For more information please call us at 720-204-8589 or reach out to us here and we’d be happy to answer any questions you have!
