Although going to therapy is becoming more common and less stigmatized, it can still feel scary if you want to start therapy but don’t know what to expect. You might hear people talking about how their therapist delved into their childhood trauma or called them out on dysfunctional patterns in their daily life, and wonder if therapy is right for you.
There’s No Sugarcoating it - Therapy Can Feel Uncomfortable.
Let’s be honest, you don’t go to therapy to be comfortable - you go because you want to change something about your life. And often change feels uncomfortable because it involves doing something different or new. Talking to most people about our deepest vulnerabilities is uncomfortable - we are putting ourselves out there in hopes that we will be heard and understood. So, while it’s helpful that you don’t know the therapist personally, it can also be very vulnerable to talk to someone you just met about deep life struggles. It’s okay if at first, it feels weird and uncomfortable.
It can be especially difficult to talk about deeper struggles when that’s not something you’re used to doing. Therapy sometimes can feel like putting your life or vulnerabilities under a microscope and it’s important to do so when you’re hoping to create change. Vulnerabilities are things we often hide from others or don’t like them to see so it makes sense that it would feel uncomfortable to shine light on them.
With all of this in mind, a therapist’s job is to be empathetic and to help you feel heard and understood. So while there may be discomfort, the therapist’s goal is to make the therapeutic space feel as comforting as possible. There is a difference between feeling the discomfort of stretching vulnerable muscles or thoughtfully addressing past trauma, and not feeling comfortable with your therapist’s approach or presence. It’s ok to honor and explore the discomfort.
So What Do You Talk About in an Initial Therapy Session?
Primarily a therapist will want to get to know you and your environment. In an initial session, they will want to get a general sense of what your life looks like - family, social support, relationships, job, living situation, etc. All of these factors can contribute to the struggles and stressors you face, so it’s important for them to note the aspects of life that cause you stress and the aspects that you are satisfied with. Some therapists might also want to get a sense of your upbringing. Understanding your family situation and the way you were raised helps us to get a bigger picture of who you are and the life circumstances that contribute to where you’re at now.
A therapist will also want to know what you’re hoping to work on in therapy. It helps if you have a sense of what you’re hoping to change or work on to help give the therapist an overview of your goals. More often than not, your past and current life circumstances will play a role in the improvements you’re hoping to make while in therapy. Talking about all of these things with your therapist helps them get on the same page with you about the progress you’re hoping to make.
You’re in the Driver’s Seat
Research tells us that the number one predictor of successful services is the relationship that you have with the therapist - it’s important that you feel heard and understood. If there is something that you don’t feel comfortable talking about, you can communicate that to the therapist and give them feedback about what feels like it is or isn’t working. A therapy session is your space and time, so while the therapist is there to guide and help you understand your experiences, you can talk about whatever feels important.
Find the Right Therapist for You
All therapists are different and your experience can vary from one therapist to the next. If you are sensing that the therapist doesn’t feel like a good fit, it’s okay to end services and try a new one. Not every therapist will be the therapist for you and it’s important that you find one that is.
Our Downtown Denver-based therapists at Colorado Therapy Collective know it can be scary to start therapy for the first time and think it’s important to meet your therapist before starting services. We offer a complimentary 20-minute consultation with one of our therapists so you can get a feel for the therapist before committing to an initial session. Find more information about our therapists here. To get in touch with one of our therapists, call 720-204-8589 or submit a form on our website. If you’re ready to schedule a consultation or initial session, you can do so now by clicking here.
