Deciding to get married is a hopeful and exciting decision. Preparing to get married, on the other hand, is often stressful, busy and expensive. Perhaps you’ve been thinking that premarital counseling would be a good idea, but are wondering whether you can really prioritize it with everything else on your plate.
Whether you are simply looking for reassurance or have strong concerns about your relationship, this quiz can help you understand how Premarital Counseling can benefit your relationship. You can answer these questions with your partner, or on your own.
I feel emotionally distant and disconnected from my partner. T F
There are several topics that feel difficult to talk about in our relationship without causing conflict. T F
When my partner and I have conflict it feels extremely difficult to resolve. T F
My partner and/or I have a hard time being vulnerable with one another and sharing our emotions. T F
It feels like my partner and I have fundamental differences in beliefs or values that cause conflict or disconnection. T F
I don’t feel like I can rely on my partner for support when I need it. T F
My partner and I had very different upbringings and it feels difficult to navigate our differing views on life. T F
There are previous wounds in our relationship that feel hard to talk about and repair. T F
My partner and/or I have a hard time communicating our needs to one another. T F
We have differing views on marriage expectations and what our future will look like. T F
How Did You Do?
To get your results, count each “True” answer as one point and add them up for a total score.
If you scored between 0-1 you and your partner can likely benefit from brief counseling to work out any bumps in your relationship. Counseling can help highlight key differences and similarities in your relationship so you have a greater awareness of them. Sometimes counseling can validate that you are doing well in your relationship and can support making small improvements.
If you scored between 2-5 there may be some more significant difficulties in your relationship that should be addressed before getting married. When it feels like there is a lot of disconnection or unresolved conflict in a relationship, it can lead to a build-up of resentment in the future. Premarital therapy can help you and your partner unravel and understand your conflict before it gets to the point of feeling extremely distant from one another.
If you scored between 6-10 serious consideration about couples therapy might be in order. If it feels like you and your partner have major differences in beliefs and conflict feels next to impossible to resolve, that’s a good sign that you could benefit from taking a deeper look at your relationship. A trained professional can help you understand where you differ, where you have similarities, and where you might get stuck in a negative conflict pattern.
The bottom line is that premarital counseling can be beneficial for all couples getting ready to say “I do”. If nothing else, counseling before you tie the knot can help you and your partner feel more connected and on the same page about your future.
What Are the Next Steps?
If you’re not quite ready to commit to therapy, it may be beneficial to have some conversations at home to help you feel more on the same page before you decide to start. You can find our recommendations for 9 conversations to have before getting married here.
You might be ready to get started with premarital counseling but have questions about finding or choosing a therapist that fits your needs and goals. Check out our 3 tips for finding a premarital therapist. If you have questions about CTC’s premarital counseling services, you can find more information on our specialty page.
The skilled therapists at Colorado Therapy Collective can help you have some of these conversations. Our Downtown Denver-based therapists specialize in connection and want to help ensure that you and your partner are supported in creating a fulfilling lifelong commitment. To get started you can schedule a complimentary consultation, call us at 720-204-8589, or fill out this form and one of our therapists will be in touch with you.
